Why Giving More than 50% in Your Relationship is a Must
- Leah Scott and Justin Andrade
- Aug 7, 2019
- 3 min read
Today, on the way home and after staying at work an extra hour, you just realized you have nothing in the fridge to make for dinner.
These recent long nights have also had you scouring the freezer and last you remember, that was also running bare.
Your boss just told you about a new project and it looks like you’ll be putting in extra hours for the next two weeks.
You also just reminded yourself that online class you are taking for that wellness certification has a 12-page paper due in two days, and you can’t miss that dentist appointment this Friday or they are going to charge you for not showing.
Like most people......you are juggling many balls in your life.
But you also know you can do this!
You’ve handled just as much in the past and once again you will give it your all, a 100%, to make certain you will persevere.
So, if you can give 100% when dealing with work, school, personal appointments, etc.,
Why aren’t you putting that same effort into your relationship?
Imagine if you were to work just as hard at increasing the physical romance in your relationship, at understanding your partner’s needs or dreams. Imagine where your relationship would be. What potential it could have.
Take this message as a call to action. For your relationship to thrive -- you need to give a bit more than you probably are giving. Start with these 3 things:
1. Spend 10 min each day this next week asking your partner how their day was.
2. Make time to cuddle (or more).
3. Make plans with them for the weekend (even to just go for a walk).
Remember, just like the effort you are putting into other aspects of your life, your relationship needs care and feeding as well.
Do not take the quid pro quo approach to love......
Give more than you get, and you will be surprised at how much you will receive.
Increase YOUR emotional to increase YOUR physical.
You want your partner to love you the way they did in the beginning. Heck, you want to love them the way you did when you first dated.
You miss the morning sex haze you would be in on the way to your office after the sleepover you had had the night before.
Unfortunately, it seems as if you both have gotten into a rut. You make dinner, they clean the dishes. You both watch Netflix every night at 8pm, lights out at 10:30.
Saturday mornings, they read the news on their iPad while you make tea (2 sugars) before you both head out to your local Trader Joe’s.
How did you get into this rut? Oh my god, have we become my parents, you may ask?
If you want to reinvigorate your relationship and have the type of sex you once had, you need to put greater emphasis on focusing on the emotional connection you have with your partner.
When a relationship is new, the sex is always great. You both are learning about each other. You are learning about your partners, likes, dislikes, wants, desires as much as they are learning about yours. Everything is fresh and exciting.
Once you have been in a relationship for some time though, that newness wears off. Most psychiatrists estimate that the initial infatuation period that new couples experience lasts for 6 months to 2 years, depending on the couple.
After that period we often begin to normalize, essentially take for granted, the relationship. When that begins to occur, it is imperative that you continually enhance the emotional component in your relationship.
You need to spend more time understanding who your partner is? What’s his/her dream career? What new restaurants does he/she want to try? Where would he/she love to go on a weekend Trip?
Is there anything that he/she would like to do different this weekend? You have been together a couple of years now, and as humans, we are continuously evolving. You need to continue to learn about and understand one another.
Remember, there is nothing sexier physically then when someone has also explored you emotionally.
With Love & Kindness,
Justin and Leah
Leah Scott and Justin Andrade founded Upgrade Your Joy. A program that educates you on how to bring more joy and wellness into your relationships through small daily actions. They live in Carlsbad, CA with their 3 boys and are enjoying life and having fun one day at a time.
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